Christmas, racism, pain-- it's been a very strange 2 weeks. By Catherine on 12/26/2007 10:01:00 AM
So, yesterday was Christmas, this very warm, almost-springlike day. It was a nice change from last week's stormy gray skies, always threatening to either downpour or bury us in heavy wet snow. I had my tonsils out a week ago today, and until yesterday I didn't eat anything besides ice chips and water. I get grumpy when I'm hungry, and the gray weather wasn't helping. It's been really difficult to stay positive when all you can do is sleep, take painkillers, and drink water. I feel much better, so here's a comprehensive post chronicling the last two weeks, starting with work last week, when I got smacked by a student.When I say smacked, I don't mean the kid gave me a bloody nose, or even hurt me at all... She whacked my hand away from her project out of frustration. But that one thing, of course, threw the classroom into chaos, with the toughest, most bad kid's jaw literally dropped in shock. That was Thursday, not an easy day. I was really upset, because I know she wasn't being mean, but by the same token she needed to understand that her reaction was entirely inappropriate.
Then on Friday, a student of mine destroyed something of mine. Not a big thing, but I was upset by the fact that he did it and then blamed it on his friend. It just shows an immaturity that is disconcerting in a 15 year-old. After dealing with that, I checked my work email to find out that a student's dad passed away unexpectedly. There was no service, no wake-- no way to show support until after my scheduled surgery, which made it impossible to go and give him a hug.
Work stress followed me into the weekend, and then stress and fear about getting my tonsils out. I wasn't scared about the procedure itself, but rather about afterward, because, I admit, I'm a wimp. I was terrified of "the worst sore throat you've ever had multiplied by 10" (thanks, Mom) and the fact that the doctor told me my pain meds probably wouldn't help that much. I managed to work myself into an intolerable ball of stress over this, only to discover afterward that it wasn't half as bad as I'd prepared myself for. Yes, I was exhausted and slept for the first four days basically straight, but come to find out it's not that bad. I still can't eat, which is really the only thing bumming me out at the moment. It's not even pain so much as being really swollen, and things get stuck behind my soft palate.
Let's move on, I'm tired of talking about my pathetic-ness. We got some bad news from a friend on 12/23, and it kind of sobered the Christmas spirit out here in the 'burbs. She knows where I am if she needs me... <3
So then 12/24 we traveled to my dad's and that's where I encountered the racism, from the most unlikely of sources. I won't get into it here, you can ask me about the whole story.
And now I'm exhausted and want to rest, but I'm gonna try really hard to get something done around here. Maybe eat. We'll see. :)
Labels: anger, Chistmas, family, STRESSSTRESSSTRESS
Brings back memories... By Catherine on 12/14/2007 08:31:00 AM
Whenever New England gets hit with a storm like yesterday's, I always end up reminiscing about snow days from school, building forts, and the big luge down the hill in my backyard we built every year. Once, there was so much snow, it came up under my armpits-- it felt like a whole new world. I think that was the Blizzard of '93, when I was 9 and little bro was almost 3; that year we had three days off in a row and more than two feet of snow, especially in places the wind made drifts. Sean stepped off the porch and was up to his chin; I had to pull him out and make a path for him to walk through.That was the year I helped him build a Barney out of snow, complete with grape juice coloring and acorns for eyes. We went out early, determined to make the most of the days off. We packed snow on top of the hexagonal picnic table on the patio, building it up much higher than it actually stood, and flattened a trail into the back yard all the way to the fence. Then Dad helped us ice it down and we came in to warm up, letting it freeze for awhile. I still don't think I've gone that fast on a sled; it remains one of my best memories with Sean and my dad.
When Dad plowed the driveway that year, the snow piled about ten feet high-- maybe not, but to a nine year-old and her baby brother, it seemed huge, like a snowdrift from the Alps, ready to fall into a rolling avalanche at any time. We hollowed it out, iced that down too, and made the best fortress I would see for years, until I got to college and saw the 10x10 igloo outside Van Meter dormitory. That was also the year Kate, Jessica and I built a similar fortress in Kate's driveway, in a neighborhood with many more children, and had an all-out snow war with those terrible boys, who of course later became our first "boyfriends", if that even counts when you're in sixth grade.
Fast forward to ten years later, and the Blizzard of 2003. Adam, Wagner, Befries and I all walked the mile or so from Brooks dorm to Antonio's in downtown Amherst, through the snow and wind, because nothing could deter us from hot, delicious pizza and sweet, sweet adventure. Even a few years after that, memories of the snowbong outside Baker dorm (this was a giant replica of a bong made of snow, with its "bowl" stuffed with leaves and pine needles, not an actual functioning bong) and the igloo a bit further up the hill continue to make me appreciate snow much more than I do at 9:30 pm, shoveling out the driveway for the next morning. In fact, one of my first "dates" with Adam was a lovely walk into Amherst to do some Christmas shopping. We held hands and chatted, and I think that was the point that I realized just how big it was, just how important and special he was going to be in my life. Things like that help me remember the good things about winter, not just the miserable commutes and high heat bills.
One time, in college, we had jello shots and went sledding-- I do not condone this. I ended up lucky I didn't break my neck, literally; though, I'm told I made a very elegant arc through the air before landing on my head. I had the bruise under my chin and on my chest to prove it. Thank goodness for jello shots, they make you bounce. The next day we dug out the T-Bird and drove into town, bringing back breakfast for the crew from the Black Sheep and bunkering down to work as the snow still fell outside.
Driving to work in the dawn light this morning, watching the sun turn the drifts pink and sparke off the trees, I'm reminded that winter isn't always the desolate gray of January and March, but is, in fact, quite beautiful. It reminds me to be thankful for my friends and family, and all the memories we've had, and for the memories to come as each winter brings something new to be thankful for.
Labels: friends, memories, winter wonderland